Friday, January 29, 2016


Days go by.  Months sail past.  Years fly by.  The one thing that remains constant is the daily routine.  You can change your routine once in a while, but when you try to stick to the change, that becomes yet another routine.  Oh, I should go to the gym thrice a week.  I should be reading daily.  I should be learning some new stuff.  I should write blog posts regularly.  All this is fine, but eventually, you've contributed to a routine.  So, I've realized that there is no escaping routine.

There are other things that keep me and my wife busy.  Rather, there is just one person who keeps us on our toes.  He is our, little older than a year, infant.  It's amazing how life changing a close to three feet tall fellow can be.  A few years ago, when I was getting married, one of my ex-colleagues told me, "Praveen, marriage is a life changing event, no doubt.  But then, you are two adults.  You will find a way to work things out together.  Wait till you have a baby.  That's what is truly a life changing event."  We didn't realize how true the statement was until we had our child.

Now, with the little fellow, we still have a routine.  With both of us working, having a routine is probably the best thing in life.  Anything out of the ordinary, anything that kills our routine kills our peace of mind.  The days are jam packed, starting at 5 AM and ending at 9 PM.  And then, we indulge in 40 minutes to one hour of Netflix or Amazon.  One hour.  That's it.  I am not kidding.  Sometimes, we don't even wait to watch the full episode.  We stop watching at some point.  By the time we finish, on most days, I would see my wife close her eyelids and say, "Praveen, let's continue tomorrow." Late nights for us end at 11 PM.  There is no luxury of late night binge watching.  One, we don't have the energy.  Two, we have to get up early in the morning, come what may.  In spite of that, I try to eke out some time for some things I just cannot miss, like watching the Federer Djokovic semi-final game a couple of nights ago.  Those days are rare though.

Yes, there is a routine.  But there are so many moments in the day that make the whole thing so worthwhile.  Taking care of a baby is stressful - mentally as well as physically.  The fact that we are responsible for shaping an individual's life can be overwhelming.  How do we make him eat better, how do we get him to sleep on time, what are the kind of activities we should engage with him, what are the books to read to him, what are the parenting books to read, how do we combat his cold and a million other things stick as a part of the daily schedule.  There are times he would throw the food away for no reason.  It's easy to lose your cool.  "Why are you doing this?" I would say in a loud voice.  And again, he would throw.  Kids do some(most) things for no apparent reason.  And then, I'd realize, "At this point, there is only one person who can control his behavior."

But then, now and then, he would find something really funny.  He'd pick a toy from his toy cupboard, find an instant connect with a car or a plush toy, look at us and flash the most beautiful smile, a smile that can only come to an innocent child, rendering everything else around us absolutely insignificant.  You have several such moments during the day and these moments make the whole experience absolutely worthwhile.

I read a passage several months ago.  I keep going back to the passage because every word is etched out to create magical sentences.  The last sentence, I would have read a few hundred times.  Now, we can really feel the meaning of that sentence to the last letter.
"Forty weeks come down to a mother's first moment, and everything changes.  Crying keeps her awake, but silence is deafening.  She'll teach him to walk only to chase him out of the street, out of a tree, and out of harm's way.  Then suddenly time stands still; long days and endless nights morph into years and as other mothers are chasing their babies, her baby is driving away.  The mathematics of motherhood: Days that last forever add up to years that pass in the blink of an eye."
In the midst of the routine, we find moments filled with boundless happiness and small joys sweeping aside the monotony that creeps into our everyday lives.