Monday, October 19, 2009

The fr(l)ight journey

First of all, I would like to thank my friend, M Arun Kumar (MAK), a very important member of the G gang, for having agreed to do an illustration for this blog post.  We have known each other for close to ten years (right from our undergraduate days), and knowing his penchant for line drawings, I had no hesitation when I was thinking of an illustration for this post.  Thanks for your time, MAK!

Driving on Indian roads can be quite a challenge, and if you are sitting in a crammed up small car, the effort required to sit in the car can be Herculean. Irrespective of the type of roads, be it good or bad, broad or narrow, smooth or rough, sitting in the car is one of the most difficult tasks, if you consider the minuscule leg movement space. The driver is driving the car at a brake neck speed, and the oncoming traffic whizzes past you, and in the meanwhile, if you miraculously fall asleep, you have no choice but to get disturbed. The worst part is, you have nobody to blame. By the time you reach the destination, it is as though you are lucky to have arrived without a broken limb.


Illustration by MAK

There is another kind of torture that exceeds the one described above. To be honest, it doesn't even beg comparisons. The flight journey in the economy class section of the Lufthansa can be the worst experience ever. I think there is no other form of travel that can beat this experience. OK, the rates are economical, with minimal concessional rates offered to the travelers, at a very big cost of convenience. Shashi Tharoor had tweeted something about traveling in the cattle class. I think Lufthansa should have him as the brand ambassador for its fleet of planes. If anybody raises any objection to this arrangement, then even he should be made to travel in the economy class. All the furor would subside then. Even now, there is a perception amidst friends and relatives that Lufthansa is the most convenient mode of travel, and that they have a very expensive pricing policy. It is not very uncommon to hear, "It is very difficult to get a ticket in Lufthansa. It is too comfortable and pricey." I would feel like shouting back at the top of my voice, "NOOOOO. It maybe expensive, but you can be rest assured that it is far from comfortable." Lufthansa is the kind of airline that compromises on nothing but comfort.

So, why this critical evaluation of the German carrier? The leg space is of the order of a few nanometers. You stretch your legs a bit, and you are well on your way in annoying the passenger in front of you. To top it, if the good Samaritan in front of you tries to take advantage of the minuscule comfort provided by reclining a few centimeters, then your legs are doomed for the rest of the journey. You should not get alarmed if your legs take gargantuan proportions, and in a way, it will swell up to take the form of elephant legs. So, you should generate quite a bit of guts to inform the guy in front of you, "Sir, can you please get back to your original position. I know you are trying to exercise some comfort, but it is causing a great discomfort to my physical well being. Please try to understand. I am not blaming you at all, for you are well within your right to do this." He might growl, or he might really be a good guy (depending on your luck) and pull back the seat to its original position. This is one of the reasons why I do not exercise the option of reclining and adjusting my seat. And, even if you do try to recline for a few minutes, the hostess will take that precise moment to arrive with pathetic refreshments, and sound out the message "Please get your seats back to your normal position. Refreshments are being served" Whether you like it or not, you have to come out of your "for a few seconds" comfort zone. The less said about the Asian vegetarian meals, the better. Let us not even get into that, for it can be a blog post by itself. I remember Yadu telling me during one of our flight journeys together, "Maga, idhanna nam naayi kooda thinnalla" (Maga, even our dogs won't eat this).   Coming to the 22 micrometer(yes, that's what it looks like from your seat) television screens, they are placed in such an obscure corner that you would require more than an eagle's eye to catch what's playing on the screen.  But, during my previous travel, I was really glad that the microscopic television set was fit in an obscure corner.  Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, a Hindi movie that easily fits in the top 5 worst movies of film history, was being played and I wouldn't have watched that movie even if it was played on a big screen, let alone the micro screen.  It was a classic combination of a worst movie by a worst film maker in a pathetic airline.

Long flight journeys are physically and mentally tiring, but in a Lufthansa flight, every aspect of tiredness is magnified by a million times.

So, ultimately, the catch line for Lufthansa should actually have been

There's no better way to fly!

12 comments:

  1. Commiserating with you ! By and large, leg space is horrendous in economy class cabins of almost all airlines. And food has become a joke -KLM's idea of an INVM is goofy . The personal screens ( even on the Emirates that boast of royal luxury) leave one chronically cross eyed at the end of journey.

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  2. How many times have you travelled in Lufthansa? Well I guess the leg room sucks in most. But cathay and singapore have pretty good indian food.

    Prasad

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  3. Yosee,
    At least there is a personal screen in Emirates, but in Lufthansa, there are only common screens placed about a mile away! Let's not even get into food :-)

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Prasad
    I have finished three India trips in a year, courtesy Lufthansa! I think Swiss Air is the best I have travelled so far (from Germany to India).

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  4. NWA/KLM was pretty decent. Even their food was good.

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  5. NWA (North West)? Not traveled in either of the two!

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  6. am flying Air India next month...but yeah NWA is good

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  7. Mr. Abhishek,
    Where are you these days? Have fun with your India trip. Good that you decided to get married :-)

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  8. Yeah lufthansa is overpriced and basic. The good thing is the convenience of transit via frankfurt and a direct flight to chennai, blore. Its the gulf airlines that seem to rock nowadays ... new planes, cute airhostess' and gr8 entertainment ...

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  9. Ture, that is one of the main reasons (rather the only reason) for me to travel by Lufthansa. I hope the other airlines pick up soon, getting direct flights to Bangalore from Europe! Then, I can see the whole mid-west Bangalore population shifting to other airline carriers.

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  10. Nice one ! I totally agree about the Asian veg food ! My God..

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  11. Yeah totally agree with you.

    Lufthansa is way too overpriced and uncomfortable -Travelled once (my very first journey to US of A) . After that
    always sticking to Qatar/ Kuwait airways - good for the wallet and the food / leg space is much better than lufthansa.

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  12. Lux,
    Yup, it is pretty easy to realize that Lufthansa is not the best airline carrier around :-)

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