The hurt walker

What a lucky guy? I thought to myself as I saw him walk past me.  An expression that would be reserved for a fellow guy not if he was an intellectual genius or Albert Einstein's alter ego, but if he was walking with an absolute beauty of a babe or obviously, if I had other intentions.  The most incredible aspect of the male pheromone is obviously the ability to influence every member of the same species with a common trait that virtually nullifies the uniqueness of the individual.  In short, perception of unique thought is nothing but absolutely universal.  Well, I digress, but that's what I was doing literally.  I was launching a scalene triangle to cover half a pace.  You can imagine the frontal movement of my legs.  It was as though I was transformed into a dog when I tried to move forward.  Herculean, monumental, outstanding and sensational were words reduced to grave insignificance compared to the amount of happiness I secured when I moved forward.

Why are you walking like that? What happened? Did you get injured? were commonly refrained to me seeing my awkward state of movement.  Well, the bacterial infection, twice in two months reduced me to a sitting duck.  That was when I was missing Jeeves, who has a solution to almost everything on this planet, especially for trivial issues that get magnified by trivial fellows like me.  

It is difficult to answer the questions without embarrassment.  

Actually, my toe is infected by stephalococcus ponapocattum bacterium infectum (made this up).  It didn't help my cause that I was making it sound like some Harry Potter charm.  More often that not, people empathized with my condition, but not with my explanation.  Obviously, even my dog would know that I was bull shitting.  Oh man, I am not going to insult anyone with dogs.  I don't even feel like addressing my friends with my usual characteristic Hello dawg! It feels so demeaning now to associate everything with those ultra cool creatures.

The infection leads to a white fluid forgettable mass that remains hidden under the epidermis of the skin.  It feels as though it never wants to come out into the open and face the Kansas winter.  The first infection occurred on my left toe, while the second time, I had it on my right calf muscle.  During the first instance, it was a classic case of invoking Lord Shiva the whole night before picking the first possible appointment to consult the doctor.  During the second instance, the wound healed itself after a couple of days of suffering and just before I could get an appointment fixed.   

With the close pals here, it is all the more harder to explain your predicament.  For as things stand here, you can gain anything except sympathy with these fellows! 

Thankfully, I wasn't hash tagged in Twitter.  It would have been pretty bad to see your friends tweeting about you and all satirical.  

Blood or Pus #youprefer

Blood diamond or pus diamond #youprefer

Bloody or pus-sy #youprefer

But, it is only after you undergo these moments that you realize that you have it in you to become a Usain Bolt or a Michael Johnson pretty easily.  Ice skating or figure skating or moguls just becomes any other Olympic sport.  Nothing in this world is impossible anymore.  The Nike tag line makes more sense now than it ever did before.  But, come on, you really don't think I am going to participate in the Olympics!

Liberating or exhilarating #youprefer, well actually, it should be #both.

And yes, all said and done, it doesn't require special powers to admire an Einstein.  I was just kidding in the first sentence.  So, next time, if you wonder why somebody is admiring a fellow walker, more often than not, there is only one reason, and that is because the admirer must be a hurt walker.