Reflections

I've been out of reckoning with the blog world for quite some time now. Last month was pretty much busy with a lot of things rammed into my head, and my focus could just not shift away from some of the important priorities. At every stage in life, it is so important to realize what is important. In the vagaries of life, it is easy to lose what you have been searching for all your life. But then, I have been inculcated with the typical Indian middle class values, so it is not easy to lose track of the fact that one wrong move can hurt you and everyone around you. So, people around you look upon you to make the decisions, let alone the right ones.

Dedication, deference, sincerity, hard work, merit and the typical adjectives used by fathers and mothers drive home a sense of responsibility just too difficult to get away from. My father, right from my school days has tried to convey a simple point It is not the will to win, but it is the will to prepare to win that is important. Nice quote to live your life with, but then the practicalities expose the frailties of life shredding every strand of optimism, now and then. Determination is the key to succeed in life, and thankfully, God has bestowed me with the right amounts to pursue what I want, and sometimes help me succeed in it, and at other times, helped me find the reason as to why life is not all about success and failures. Life follows a strict pattern for people like me. Do all that you can, put in your best efforts and leave the outcome to Him. At the end of the day, you always have the chance to send the outcome to the pathology department hidden in you, and unearth every single nerve in you to reason out the outcome. Most of the time, you learn to move on and as a part of the unending learning process, you know that you have picked an important know how of life. Tough lessons learnt, but there is the satisfaction of having picked something along the way.

Sometimes, you do all that you can and then you see everything that you have given to washed away by a tide; the waves totally uncontrollable, and you just realize that the waves are a part of the game, and you have no role in it, but just to accept the fact that the washout was not a result of your misgivings, but something beyond you. Unexplainable, literally! You know that nothing much can be done as not much is within your control. As long as you can take control of your life, life is great, but then there are those moments, where you do everything right, and by forces of circumstances, you do not get what you want because of things not within your control; that's when it becomes difficult to move on. It is the intriguing aspect of life, but life is tough when you have nobody to blame. Life throws such challenges, and you, a participant turned spectator, have to walk away from it as though nothing has happened; as though it never came into your life at all. But again, it is important to move away from the disappointment, as you are forced to stay in the current page without getting on to the new chapter. As IF by Rudyard Kipling rings continuously in your ears, you go back and forth, and then these lines really drive home the point, that what you experience now is experienced by millions of others, and life is more about learning, than about anything else.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

I am going to spend the next few days doing some much needed soul searching, giving myself the much needed solitary space, masking my mind away from things that are way beyond my control, and pacing my life the way I want it to be. At the end of the day, there is always HOPE.