Monday, April 28, 2008

Khelo aur Jhelo - One of a kind

Controversy theories have plagued Indian sports in the last week much to the delight of some of India's acclaimed serial killers. Ekta Kapoor, in an exclusive media interview to SaaS TV, thanked the Indian sportsmen for her inspirational new biopic, Khelo aur Jhelo (JLo?). In her usual candid self, Ms. Kapoor spoke about the various problems troubling the cricketers of today. So, in her typical style, she chose a name starting with 'K', and says that this is one of a kind serial, bringing to the forefront, the relationship between sportsmen and their in-laws. In-laws? Yes, as she has repeated often, this is a "one of a kind" serial. Media sponsors are thronging her house, in a bid to gain valuable advertisement spots for her 1199 episode drama. When quizzed why she has to offer only 1199 episodes, she said that the story will take its course, and depending on the response, she plans to continue the plot. The interview has generated never before heard of TRP ratings, and the title has already evoked considerable curiosity and speculation. Every news channel is flashing the news of Ms. Kapoor's new serial-killing venture, and as per latest media reports, it is the title that is keeping people on their toes. Is it Jhelo or JLo? Is there a connection between the Indian cricketers (which other sport have we heard of?) and Ms. Jannu Lopu (JLo)? For people who haven't heard of JLo, she is the latest Bollywood Diva, who has plunged into the world of Indian Personalities League (IPL). IPL is all about big bucks, and you can see why various film personalities and cricketers have signed up for this entertainment bonanza. IPL is a world of connections, rather cross connections, between cricket and films, and there are unconfirmed reports from highly reliable sources, that there might be some cricket played in this league to entertain the big bad world of Bollywood personalities. So, obviously, there is big money involved!

As the IPL entered its first week, two big theater personalities, always known for their notoriety and mischief, created havoc on the sets. Bhajji, the fighter and Noshanth, also nicknamed sissy poo, brought out their true selves in front of the world, after putting up a show of quiet and poise for a week. In front of the entire media (obviously it is such a big show that everyone was present on the sets), Noshanth was slapped by Bhajji for provoking him in front of a whole lot of theater artists. As always, there are unconfirmed reports that Noshanth played with the sentiments of Bhajji. JLo, the current Bollywood sensation, is supposed to be a very good friend of both these comic characters. After the famous monkey-gate scandal, she began to maintain a safe distance from the protagonist Bhajji. She also liked the on-screen, rather on-field, performance of our volatile hero, Noshanth. His so called aggression, matched by none, coupled with his histrionics on the field drew her towards him. This led to small skirmishes between the two jokers, and gradually in one such encounter, Bhajji, unable to bear any further taunts, in a fit of rage and jealousy, broke the shackles with a big slap. Noshanth could not handle this unexpected physical injury, and in front of the entire media network, sobbed uncontrollably. The organizers of the IPL could not let this pass off easily, and summoned the victor and the vanquished. Obviously there had to be a witness in spite of the fact that about a billion people witnessed the fracas. Who else could be the witness, but our very own Satyanand Dulkar, who has stood by Bhajji many a time, performing the rescue act whenever called. His outright opinion almost helped Bhajji being let off with a mild warning. But our super artist, Noshant is no loser. He made sure he brought his tear glands to action once again, and having run out of napkins, the IPL governing body, with great difficulty slapped the ban on Bhajji. For eleven months, Bhajji is supposed to abstain from seeing any Bollywood personality, and especially JLo.

As always, people are talking about the pros and cons of the harsh outcome. But Ekta, the only one who has seized this great opportunity with both hands, has made sure that she hits the headlines before any other director can use this concept. With a so much to reveal title, Khelo aur jhelo, she has put the people of this country in a quandry. Even though she has clearly said in the interview, that she is going to harness the emotional quotient by depicting the relationship between sportsmen and their in-laws, the media is speculating that this could be about Noshanth, Jlo and her prospective in-laws.

Again, there are unconfirmed reports that after the tear-gate scandal, JLo has split up with Noshanth. The last we have heard of about JLo is that she is with Bhajji, truly admiring him for his valor. Sadly for the unlucky Noshanth, he is supposed to be in tears again. Poor guy, he has to go through so much mental trauma after the physical assault. It is a classic case of Sleeping with the enemy! So, this biopic could well be about why JLo broke up with Noshanth because of difficulties with her prospective in-laws (even though it had nothing to do with in-laws)? Ekta, after all, can change the script just minutes before it airs on the television. Well, we are in for an interesting ride, aren't we?


  1. GK,

    You summed up the tamasha in your truly stylish write-up. Both are notorius and deserve slaps but not from the other.That is the irony. Bhajji is not qualified to slap Noshanth...he he that is what I can't come to terms with.

    As always,nice write up. Enjoyed it and had to read the article twice to recognize our Satyanand Dulkar...he mind is slowing down of late.

  2. Awesome story writing style.. You can give Ekta and run for her money :)

  3. Oh god can somebody stop this guy from writing soap operas... just kidding dude. Anyway good one man. Talk to you later.

    Spencer. :).

  4. nice one man... had fun reading it... so tell me more about urself. me from chennai, care to introduce urself thru an email? is my id. also check out my quizzes at

  5. Yeah...I don't understand cricket fully, but this part had me glued to NdTV for about an hour!! That was really funny.

  6. Madan,
    Thank you sir! The whole thing has turned out to be such a big joke. Very sad, but truly hilarious for everyone around!

    Actually, you know what, I would gladly run for her money :-)

    Guruve, nim PJ stop maadi :-) Can you ever imagine a soap opera to be completed in two paragraphs? You must be kidding dude!

    Thanks Karthik. Will truly check up your quiz blog :-)

    How are you? How were your CET and a thousand other entrance exams? Yeah, these guys have made a laughing stock of our adopted national sport.

  7. I agree with Lakshmi - the incident was more interesting than the game. And your piece makes it even more so!

  8. Oh, Praveen sir, one more to go for me! I've to write comed-k. One more thing, I saw your website! :) Came across it, on Shelfari. You are from PESIT? Wow, must have had some brains to get in there! My mom works there, in the BBM department as a teacher. You have such an awesome campus there, makes me jealous.

  9. Lakshmi,
    Trust me, if I can get into PESIT, anybody can :-) Great to know that your mother is working in PESIT. It's been quite some time since I came out of PESIT. Those were the good ol' times. Awesome campus! Yeah true, but then, most of the newly opened colleges have a wonderful campus. Anyways, Good luck for your exams :-)

  10. Raji ma'm
    Thank you!!! I am sure you would have had a wonderful time with 24x7 coverage on the slap :-)