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Showing posts from December, 2012

Kula Deivam and the Act of Returning

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Kunnathur, rebuilt — familiar, and not. When I was growing up, I spent most summers with my grandparents and extended family. My maternal side was based in Pudukkottai, my paternal side in Gobichettipalayam—Gobi, for short—in Tamil Nadu. Like most families, ours has since scattered, pulled toward larger cities and better livelihoods. The structure is new. The pull is old. Back then, our visits were unremarkable in the best way. We stayed home. Visitors came and went through the day. When we were in Gobi, there was one outing we never missed: a visit to our kula deivam at Kunnathur, about twenty-five kilometers away. We would pile into a van or a bus, pack food, and set out like an informal family pilgrimage—grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, all together. My paati would make sweet pongal and offer it to Goddess Angala Parameswari, an avatar of Parvati. There were no restaurant...

Contradictions

Recently, we moved apartments.  It neither looks simple nor is it.  As we packed the different, unwanted items that we have accumulated over the years, my wife and I had different solutions for the same problem.  For each and every box that gets added to the list, I had, rather have, a simple solution,  "Let's chuck it.  Why do we need this?", which, unfortunately, is diametrically opposite to the position held by her - "Oh, we can buy a small shelf to offset this problem?" It doesn't require an Einstein to figure out who wins these arguments. For me, the whole process of discarding is pretty simple.  If you don't use something over a period of time, just discard the item.  The philosophy is straightforward and I explained this to her, "See, when we move to the new apartment, let's not unpack some of the boxes.  It's okay if the apartment is a mess for some days.  At least, we will know the items that we are using and those that we ...