I Thought I Was Moving Forward

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I still remember the moment I decided not to learn Sanskrit. I was in seventh grade in Bangalore, choosing between Sanskrit in the State Board and Hindi in ICSE. I asked my father what he thought. His answer was simple: “Why do you want to learn Sanskrit? It serves no purpose.” That was enough. I dropped it. It felt like a smart decision. Hindi seemed more useful. I even convinced myself I was choosing the “national language”—not realizing India doesn’t have just one. Looking back, the decision wasn’t about language. It was about how I was thinking. I chose utility. Whatever moved me forward faster. And for a long time, that worked. I moved to the U.S. Finished my Masters. Found a job. Built a life. There was always something more urgent—visa timelines, work, responsibilities. Life ran on schedule, and I stayed inside it. But something else was happening quietly. Distance was doing its work. When I visited the Kanchi Mutt in Malleswaram, ...
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The blind side

Pass me that bag lying in front of you.

In a rather intriguing way, I stretched my neck and strained my eyes to find out in the hardest possible way what was in front of me.  There was no way in the world that that bag was lying there.  My mind was blanked out and it was as though a black piece of cloth was wrapped around my eyes.  It is quite probable if that was the case, at least my other senses would have helped me in locating the bag.  Locating is actually a wrong word here, rather, it should be, seeing.

Praveen! It is right there, shrieked my wife.  

Where, where, I asked, in a pleading tone. 

I just wanted her to put an end to the aura of "invisibility" (definitely, I wouldn't use invincibility).  Looking at the number of words that are getting replaced, one shouldn't be faulted for thinking that this is some kind of a Find and Replace word editor.

She stood stoically, at least she tried to, but I was not sure whether her expression was completely bereft of even the minutest of emotions.  That seemed rather hard to believe.  She was staring at me, as though, she was ready to go to a couple of stores nearby, select the best looking bag and get it back home.  That had a better probability of getting a bag than out of me.  It was a hopeless situation to be in.  I did not, for even a second, imagine how I would have reacted if I was put in the same situation.

She emerged out of the reverie, ( I having fallen into one), knowing that the only way to save the situation was to stop expecting me to pick the bag, walked a few steps ahead of me, and picked the red bag that was lying right in front of me.  I obviously had a sheepish grin. 

How do you fail to see what is right in front of you?

It was a question I had faced innumerable times in my life.  Maybe, Google has just ravaged my life to such an instant, that when I Google, I don't want to find a link and get into a page,  I would rather read the snippet and find what I am looking for. 

I think it is too hard to find something that can be found easily, and that just adds so much pressure on the finder! I know that's such a useless explanation, but it is always good to have an explanation than not to have one at all.  I wish I can find things easily.  But then, there is an alternate way of looking at things.  My wife is learning too, and is doing a pretty good job.  She never asks me to fetch anything.  In hindsight, it is a good situation to be in actually.

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