Bhavayami: The Kriti That Defined Carnatic Music for Me

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I’ve often confessed how musically incompetent I am. I have no idea about  thālams  or  ragams , nor even the basics of whether a singer is off  shruti . And yet, music, especially the music of M. S. Subbulakshmi has been a constant companion throughout my life. Every morning and evening of my childhood, MS’s voice filled our home with the  Vishnu Sahasranamam ,  Hanuman Chalisa , or  Suprabhatam . Those slokams reverberating through the walls became part of my everyday rhythm. For my mother, who was deeply religious, devotional music was inseparable from life itself. And though I never grasped the nuances of Carnatic music, devotion seeped into me through those sounds. MS had a unique quality in her renderings. She didn’t just sing, she seemed to be standing in the presence of divinity. When people say a true musician never dies, I understand it. Their body may pass, but their music becomes immortal. For years, I kept a respectful distance from Carnat...
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Whats and Whys

One of the common questions that I face at home now is, Appa, what's that? Akhil is obsessed with everything around him.  If the object of interest has a mechanical or electrical component (which constitutes most of the devices at home), then his interest just magnifies.  He would be running around at home, and all of a sudden, he'd look at me and ask, "Appa, what's that?"

Akhil, that's a magnet.  I'd say.  He would then repeat the word so that the word gets registered in his mind.  "MAGNET?" He'd fiddle with the device as well as the word for some time before finding another object that would keep his curiosity levels piqued to the same extent.

He has an absolute delight for the dishwasher at home.  After I finish placing all the utensils, he would be waiting eagerly to press the button.

"Appa, I want to press the button."

"Are you sure?", I would ask to make him feel that he is doing something important.

"Ya", he would say with a melody.

And that's when the questions would start again.

"Appa, what's that sound?"

"That's the sound of water washing the dishes."

"WOoosh", he'd try to replicate the sound with his mouth.

"Why is the water doing Wooosh?"

"Because, water is flowing from top to bottom and cleaning the vessels", I'd give a tepid explanation.

He would place his ear near the dishwasher to figure out the exact source of the sound.

"Appa, can I open the door?"

"You can try, but when the dishwasher is running, you cannot open the door."

"Oh, ok", he'd say.

And after his inquisitiveness wears off, he would come back to the original question.

"Appa, what's that sound?"

We would be reading a book and he'd see the elephant in the book lying down.  He'd ask, "Appa, why is the elephant doing this?", and he would pose exactly like the elephant.

The first time I saw him do that, I just burst out laughing, gave him a hug and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"The elephant is lying down, because he is sad.  He is missing his friend", I'd say.

"Elephant not happy?", he'd ask.

"No".

"Why elephant not happy?"

And the cycle goes on.

The whats and whys are endless, and my wife and I would be in a state of confusion as to how we can give a reasonable explanation to a three year old.

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