Partly Yours, Partly Lost

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Some places stay with you long after life has moved elsewhere. There is something strange about destiny. You just cannot overcome it, but at the same time, you cannot simply do nothing because something is destined to happen. In India, it is not uncommon to have your horoscope charted about a year after birth. Grandparents wait with bated breath to hear how well the stars were aligned, and what remedies might be needed to appease the Gods. So when I was a year old, my grandmother took my birth date and time to Dharmaraja Ghanapadigal, one of the most revered astrologers in Pudukkottai. He apparently told her that I would do reasonably well in studies, travel to multiple countries, and eventually live abroad. Here was an old lady asking about her grandson from a small town. My parents were then living in Gobichettipalayam. This was the eighties, long before economic reforms had changed the country. My grandmother thanked him politely, but quietly wondere...
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Conscious Capital

A monthly meetup with my mentor today and we were, as usual, talking about many things.  I told him that lately, I have been juggling a lot of content on Advaita Vedanta.  We were talking about the mind and the pure consciousness, the concept of Brahman and so on.  He told me that it was all interesting and that he was having a conversation with his wife a week ago and was asking her, "What exactly is consciousness?".  

I laughed and replied, "David, that's not a trivial question.  That's exactly what enlightened souls spend lifetimes exploring." We both laughed.  

We drifted from Vedanta to investing.  He said that he doesn't want to invest in certain companies because for him, there's a line; he doesn't want to invest in companies that don't align with his principles.  I asked him how one even decides where to draw the line.  

I admitted that my own beliefs had blindsided me in the past.  I used to think that if I didn't use a product made by a particular company, there was no point in investing there.  But after watching some of those companies multiply in value, I learned a harsh lesson.  Investing philosophy is very different from personal bias.  

"That's true," he said, "but somewhere we got to draw a line."  But for me, those lines often feel blurred.

After so many years in the industry, we found ourselves asking: what is the actual impact of wealth?  In a free world like the US, where optimism and capitalism go hand in hand, there's always an opportunity to bet on the next big thing.  Sometimes, the bet rewards you handsomely, other times, it pulls you down.  If you bet on the industry winners, you get to enjoy a few millions.  If not, then? Who doesn't want the extra cash? But the deeper question is, will it move the needle?  Would I actually feel different in my day-to-day life? Would it change my baseline happiness?

That's when David, in his usual matter-of-fact way, said

The real question isn’t whether you could have had more money. It’s whether, at your current baseline, you’ve done what you truly want to do.

That landed deeply.  It shifts the focus away from the what ifs of money, and towards the choices we make with what we already have.  

It's kind of a double-edged sword.  Am I already living in alignment with what I already have? If the answer is no, more millions won't fix it.  If the answer is yes, then the rest is just noise. 

And then, I said, "David, forget all this, and go find pure consciousness".

As human beings, we love to toy with hypothetical misses.  And for every situation in life, there is always The Road Not Taken.  But maybe the more important road is the one we're already walking - with awareness.

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