The Real Couple Dialogue

What exactly are the couple goals after a few years of marriage? In the early years of marriage, couple goals meant to hold hands together at the beach, staring deep into the sunset or watching a Netflix series together. Ten years later, it's remembering to soak the lentils and rice for the dosa batter, and paying your taxes on time. 

A successful marriage is built on love and thrives on shared responsibilities. So, most of the conversations tend towards what's completed and what should tend towards completion. 

"Praveen, did you have a chance to follow up with Akhil's coach on the practice schedule?"

"Hema, did Akhil finish up this week's music homework?

"Praveen, did you call the plumber? The kitchen sink is leaking. It can damage the wood below."

"Hema, did you order the dishwasher liquid from Amazon?" 

Obviously, if you have been in a relationship for a few years, and if the dishwasher loading duty doesn't fall on the husband, there is absolutely something wrong in the relationship!

"Praveen, after you drop Sahana, don't waste time. Go to the nearest Indian store. I have added items to the shared list."

Yes, my only time in the world to be at peace is lost to grocery shopping. Some people enjoy in-person shopping, but I want to categorically state that I am NOT that person. 

"Praveen, I don't have the complete picture of our calendar I have added Akhil and Sahana's schedule to the calendar. Can you please add the same of his practice timings?"

I am a person who likes to keep everything in my mind, but my wife loves to have everything on the calendar. 

Life is not different for our fellow couple friends. Every couple I know go through the pain of shared responsibilities. Oh, how nice it would be if only one person could do all the work, and that person is not you. 

And amid all this project management, someone casually drops the question: "So what do you two do for fun?"

That would open a new Pandora's box. 

"What do we watch together?"

As I've said in one of my earlier posts, our interests have also diverged over time. Yes, there are some common things we like, but we have our own hobbies that pique our interests. 

Hema - I am watching some oriental drama in fast forward mode.

Me - Oh, I am listening to some Vedanta stuff. I am busy with Sanskrit. Now and then I watch something on Netflix.

Our circadian rhythms are also diametrically opposite. I love to stay up late; she loves waking up early. The intersection point is maybe an hour at night, after the day's chaos winds down. By then, we’re so tired that instead of watching something together, we retreat into our own dream worlds, on our respective devices.

This, too, is love - unglamorous, unscripted, but real.

So, if you watch a movie where the parents and kids are sitting on the couch watching a nice family movie, don't fall for that trap. It happens but just not as often as the movies want you to believe.

At the end of the day, there are no particular couple goals. The goals just follow you. Maybe couple goals aren’t about what’s completed, but about who you’re completing it with.