A Week Without “Appa”

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Quiet. How I'd like it to be sometimes. I went to the temple almost every day. I didn't have anyone asking me, “Appa, are we done?” I could just cement myself there, without hurry, for a few hours. I could recite the Rudram without somebody tugging at my sleeve. And yet, every now and then, I would think that it would have been nice to have the kids there too. I didn't have to worry about picking up Akhil or Sahana from somewhere. I didn't get messages from my wife asking me to make a pit stop at the Indian store or Costco. I didn't have to look at the clock and suddenly remember that someone had basketball or tennis. It was as though life had come to a standstill. And I liked it. In the middle of a normal workday, I could be in an important meeting when Akhil would come charging into the room. “Appa, please approve.” For a brief second, I wouldn't even understand what he was asking. Then I would realize that I had absentmi...

When the Violin Wept for Me

There are songs that entertain.
There are songs that move you.
And then, once in a lifetime, there’s a piece of music that finds you — and never lets go.

There was a moment of madness.
I went to YouTube just to feel “Sundari Kannal.”
But you have no chance of finding just the song.
You end up losing yourself in the pangs of nostalgia.

How can Ilaiyaraaja create emotions out of silence?
How does a single violin — just one humble instrument — manage to stir your soul so completely?

That breakup scene between Rajini and Shobana… it has more silence than music.
But it’s that silence that makes you weep.
You lose yourself.
You find yourself.
You are caught in a web — memories, emotions, fragments of feelings you didn’t know still lived in you.

They come.
They go.
And then — the violin.

The interlude arrives like a quiet storm.
The orchestra is so simple… yet so rich.
It’s not loud. It’s not flashy.
It’s healing.
But within the healing, there is hurt. It seeps into you.

You're trying to process the separation.
But there are no words spoken.
There’s only music.
And then, a silence that somehow says everything.

Ilaiyaraaja has this uncanny ability to let you feel emotions you never thought you were capable of feeling.
Years later, the music still lingers — not just in the ears, but in the spaces between your thoughts.

The emotions return as if no time has passed.
But they also evolve. There are new layers now.
You are taken back in time, and yet, time stands still.

You look ahead, but part of you wants to stay… transfixed in the past.
A single tear escapes.
You don’t want to wipe it away.
It stands as a testimony — to decades of silent emotion packed into a single violin phrase.

And then, again — the silence.

But it isn’t dead.
It’s not emptiness.
It’s a silence that speaks. A silence with its own language.

No trace of drama.
Yet every emotion is there.
Everything is blank. And yet, you are flooded.

As you loop in and out of that one-minute interlude, the world fades.
Nothing moves. Nothing needs to.

There is still so much magic in this world.

Music is therapy.
Ilaiyaraaja is the therapist.
And that single interlude of violin… it heals you in ways even you don’t understand.

It doesn’t explain. It doesn’t ask.
It just stays — with you, within you, forever.

Some music fades.
Ilaiyaraaja’s music echoes — in the soul's silences.

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